ECHANG PHOTOGRAPHY

“20 Something Minutes”

November 2023

  Two years ago, while flirting with the idea of retiring, I started driving a bit for one of the popular ride share companies. Although I was frequently frustrated with the low pay and far trips with no hope of a return passenger, I liked the freedom to set my own schedule and I liked meeting new people. And what a range of people…a long-time alcoholic that had recently become sober on his way to a church support meeting, a traveling barber with a professional basketball team in town to play the Wizards, a quantum physicist whose company was growing so fast that she needed to come back to HQ to re-organize her office space, a young gangbanger with a big personality and a previous gunshot wound that he was proud to show me, three hard partying lesbians going out very late on a Sunday night (I previously thought Sunday nights were a time for rest), many hard working, conscientious staffers from Capitol Hill, a man who left his wife because he “thought the grass was greener on the other side” just back in town to be reunited with her…the list of interesting interactions goes on and on. I loved learning about their lives and how they viewed the world. I took selfies with my favorites and kept them in my personal “drive of fame” iPhone photo album (I didn’t post any of these photos because at the time, I didn’t think of asking for their permission…too bad).

I was continuously amazed by how little time we spent together and struck by the depths of the conversations we shared. I realized the reason was probably because my passengers felt that once we arrived at their destination, we would likely never see one another again. There was no need to put up any guards. I decided that I needed to stop keeping a personal photo album and start something more formal. So I started this project, which I call “20 Something Minutes,” which is roughly the amount of time our journey together lasts.

If I give a ride and at the conclusion, decide I’d like a photo, I explain my project. I offer to email the photo to them but I request that they reply back with their thoughts on our ride with the only guidance that no one is interested in hearing about what a nice guy I am or how well I drive.

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“Sophisticated Jazz Like Dad Plays”

Me: When Demetria and her sister, Deyonna, approached my car, I was immediately struck by how beautiful they both looked.  I thought a photo of them, with their pretty faces and stylish outfits, would be a nice addition to my project.  But, I knew this was going to be a short ride and therefore difficult to have any meaningful conversation.  However, I got lucky when Demetria commented on the music I was playing.  She said that her father drove for a rideshare company too and he also played jazz music while driving.  I explained that I intentionally play jazz or "spa" music because it's non-controversial.  I don't want to aggravate any of my riders by playing the "wrong" biased news station.  Besides, I said, by playing jazz, riders think I'm much more sophisticated than I really am.  We all had a good laugh over that one.  Thank you ladies, our ride was short but fun!

Demetria: My sister and I really enjoyed our ride. Even tho it was a short ride, we were able to see your personality as well as share ours. Connecting on the jazz music was very nice because it reminded us of our dad. We enjoyed our trip and love the picture. Thank you again.

“Body Autonomy”

Me: Towards the end of our 13 minute ride, Gill said, "even though I use "they/them" pronouns, I am just one person, but I do have a lot of personality!"  With Gill’s big, welcoming smile, I saw this the moment they walked out of the hotel.  When I asked why they were in town, they explained it was for Saturday’s “Gender Liberation” march.  Gill further explained they were in town not merely as a participant but a worker for the organizing group, specifically, as a storyteller.  Naturally, this piqued my interest.

   “What stories are you telling?”

   “I’m telling the stories of the twenty young people we sponsored to come here...to explain what gender liberation means to them.”

   “What does gender liberation mean to you?”

   And this question got to the essence of our interaction.  I explained that the previous story that I did in this project was my first experience with using “them/they” pronouns and quite frankly, it was confusing.  Gill acknowledged this and said their family and friends still made mistakes.  They explained that gender liberation meant having “body autonomy,”  This was an interesting phrase I had never heard before.  I expressed my belief that a lot of harm and divisiveness in this country has been caused by people that impose their beliefs on others.  I believe each person has the right to decide what makes them happy.  And they said this is essentially what gender liberation means.  At the conclusion of our ride, Gill asked if they could give me a hug, and we did, which I thought was very nice."

Gill: “Eric picked me up from the hotel I was staying at for work in order to take me to the airport. I was in D.C. with my organization, the Gender and Sexuality Alliance Network, for the Gender Liberation March that took place the day before and was now headed home to Cleveland, Ohio. When I got in Eric’s car, he asked me if I was visiting and where I was headed home to. I replied, and he then asked me about what I was doing here for work. Typically, I am usually cautious about revealing the nature of my work to strangers, because reactions vary widely and not always for the best. But Eric seemed like a friendly guy, and I told him I was there for the Gender Liberation March with a group of queer and transgender youth that we had sponsored from across the country. He told me about how he had just had a past ride with someone who had corrected him on their pronouns and how that was a unique and new experience for him. His tone was friendly and curious, which allowed me to relax, connect, and share my own pronouns (they/them). I also shared that he is not alone in lacking knowledge/experience with the trans community. I am usually the first transgender person that folks meet which means I am used to lots of questions and curiosity. Well versed in talking to folks about what it means to be trans in a way that does not alienate folks for not instantly knowing everything already, I sympathized with Eric that it is a new topic for most people and that he should not feel alone. Pronoun usage, especially pronouns like my own, are new to a lot of people and it is only human to make mistakes and be curious. I explained how even I will still make mistakes with my own friends and how my family has been learning and trying their best since I came out. Eric had a response that I completely adored, saying that he didn’t completely understand it but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect it and can be kind. He continued to say that so much divides us these days that really shouldn’t. I completely agreed and responded by saying that we’re all just trying our best, trying to be our authentic selves, trying to be free. Eric then asked me what the Gender Liberation March was about, and I explained how the main cause was body autonomy, whether that be trans rights or reproductive rights. Essentially, the right for people to take ownership and make decisions about their own bodies and lives without interference from others or the government. Eric expressed a genuine curiosity about the march and my work as the Storytelling Media Organizer with GSA Network. I told him about how I was there to march for myself and others like me, but that I was also attending in order to collect stories and visuals about the youth we brought to march alongside with us. He was excited to hear about my storytelling role and told me about his own storytelling project which I instantly loved. I was very excited to learn more and be a part of such a unique project! When we got to the airport, he took my picture, and before heading off I asked if I could give him a hug. These are the conversations and connections I live for and love! Eric gave me a lot of hope, and I will carry that with me home.”

“Three Thousand Realms in a Single Moment of Life”

Me: The first half of my ride with Nikhil was basically small talk.  It was very hot outside and traffic was horrible.  In fact, at one point, traffic was so bad, I asked Nikhil why they didn't take the metro.  They said they just got a tattoo on their leg and it hurt.  I was excited to hear about the new tattoo and immediately asked to see it and if it was the first one.  Turns out, it wasn't.  They showed me a tattoo on their forearm which I immediately recognized as what's known as an Endless Knot.  I recognized it because I have one on a chain around my neck.  It's a Buddhist symbol representing the endless cycle of life and the interconnectedness of things.

   The design of the new tattoo was a sword from a video game called Dark Souls.  Nikhil loves playing it because it's a very difficult and mentally challenging game. The sword is presented when the player conquers a level and is ready to advance to the next, even more difficult, level.  The symbolism of the sword is personally important to Nikhil because they had a freak accident years ago that could have resulted in not being able to walk again. When they almost, reluctantly, accepted this defeat, they realized the attributes they used to successfullly navigate the game could aid in their personal recovery. So Nikhil drew upon their intellect, persistence, endurance and mental strength to recover from the accident.  The sword serves as a reminder of this battle and ultimate victory.  It was an enjoyable, interesting ride and I wish Nikhil continued success in their recovery.

Nikhil: “I got into Eric’s Lyft right after having gotten my fifth tattoo, I was debating taking the Metro that day but I was feeling sore after my session and was wanting to just kick back. Eric was friendly and inquisitive, something about the way he spoke clued me in that he might be from New York City. Sometimes I would say something during our conversation and Eric would pause, I thought maybe I had offended or confused him but I think he was just wanting to take a moment to consider what I said carefully. When Eric asked me about my tattoos we bonded right away around the knot of eternity which I have tattooed on my arm and that Eric had on his necklace. I was a bit embarrassed to tell the story of my new tattoo because I wasn’t sure if it would seem silly to someone that I got a tattoo based on a video game. But Eric was more curious and not judgmental. I am grateful for this opportunity to sit longer with this small stretch of my life. It reminds me of the Buddhist concept of ‘three thousand realms in a single moment of life,’ when you are truly present every second of life can contain eternity.”

“Scorching Outside, Cool Inside”

Me: When the Lyft app offered this ride to me, I saw the projected distance of the trip was about a block, which I thought was a reflection of the extreme heat that just started hitting the right half of the country.  I figured it was simply too hot and unhealthy to walk even a short distance.  But, after Janice and her mother, Constance, got in the car, we quickly realized they entered the wrong destination and once corrected, we were on our way.

   I picked them up from the National Museum of African American History and Culture, which I think is one of the best in DC, and among the best of all museums I've ever visited throughout the world.  In particular, I think their exhibit on slavery is one of the most coherent, logical exhibits I have ever seen.

   When I pick someone up from this museum, I love hearing their thoughts on their experience.  In addition to sharing how the three of us thought the slavery exhibit used physical space to great affect, Janice pointed out how she thought psychologists and social scientists were consulted to help create the “mood” of this powerful exhibit.  I hadn’t thought of this before but I think her point has merit.

   After talking about the museum, we discussed our mutual unhappiness with Trump and our inability to understand what some (too many?) people see in him.  Janice and Constance were visiting DC from Detroit so we also talked about their home city.  I was happy to hear Janice say Detroit has improved a lot since I was there about five or six years ago.  At that time, I was amazed at my perceived failure of Detroit to participate in the urban renewal that I've witnessed in many other cities in this country.

   When we arrived at their destination, the Washington Hilton on Connecticut Avenue, I pointed out this was the place where President Reagan was shot, but Janice already knew that.  In a nod to history, we decided to take the photo using the hotel's sign as a backdrop.  It was a real pleasure to meet Janice and her mother and I wish them a safe journey back to Detroit and I hope they enjoyed their visit to our nation's capital.

Janice: “While it was scorching hot outside, the ride was cool - in terms of both temperature and conversation! From the beginning, there was a welcoming spirit and relaxing cadence from our driver. He let us know early on that we should check the information we shared in the app as our requested drop-off was identical to our pick-up. After quickly adjusting the request, our driver initiated a discussion by asking me and my Mom about our experience visiting the African American Museum. He shared that he too had visited multiple times and was both moved and deeply impressed by all that he saw and heard. He shared his reflections and listened intently as me and Mom did the same. I sat behind him but heard and sensed a smile the entire ride. He shared what he experienced and knew about Detroit after finding out that our home was the Motor City. As the ride came to its conclusion, he shared the details of the 20 Something Minutes Project and me and my Mom happily agreed to participate!

Eric is a great driver and a Cool Dude who takes great pics that support a project that reminds all of us of our human connectedness to both each other and the planet. Thanks for a great ride Eric! We pray you continue to insert your positive thoughts and kindness into a world in great need of both!”

“Jolly First Ride”

Me: Today was a very blustery day in DC and I kiddingly thought, the wind blew Janice, with her big smile and jolly spirit, into my car for her very first rideshare experience.  We hit it off right away and easily talked about the conference that she was attending and her work as a manager for food programs in the federal "Head Start" program.  Janice is from California and spent most of her life living on a dairy farm.  The thing that struck me most about our conversation was she said she has moved only twice in her life!  The first time was more than 45 years ago when she got married.  The second time was when her in-laws passed away and she and her husband moved.  I told her I have moved twice in the past 30 months!  I can't imagine being in the same place so long nor can I imagine how connected she must feel to her home. I’m happy I had a chance to meet Janice - her jolly, kind spirit really made an impression on me.

Janice: “Eric, I enjoyed the ride. You were very friendly and as a first time (rideshare) user I was a little nervous but you put me at ease with the friendly conversation. Sharing your family, it made me feel safe, for family is important to me. Also, you showed interest in why I was in DC and then showed interest in the work I do. Again, thank you for the pleasant conversation and the safe ride.”

“Do What You Love”

Me: I was very happy when Olivia agreed to be part of my project.  I recently returned from a three week trip to Nepal and was eager to make another addition to this project, especially since it’s been more than a month since my previous entry.  Navigate to "Namaste Nepal,” if you want to see some nice photos and learn why I was there.

This was a pretty quick ride.  When I picked Olivia up near a local university, she had a suitcase and I assumed she was visiting DC.  She had a bit of an unfamiliar accent and she explained that she was born in France but grew up in MIami.  I was excited when she told me she was studying film and media here in DC.  The thing that stands out most in my mind about our ride is Olivia told me how much she loved her field of study and she said that life was too short not to be doing what you loved.

Right before I picked her up, I had finished my weekly volunteer shift at a local hospice. The combination of talking to people at the end of their lives, wondering about the lives they lived, and Olivia’s comment caused me to ponder the strength of her words.  I understand that living a “meaningful” life is a luxury some simply can’t afford (see my Nepal entry), but I also think there are many who can afford it but lack the confidence (courage?) to make the necessary changes. Perhaps it comes down to sacrificing material wealth for a simpler, more fulfilling life?

I wish Olivia the best in all her future endeavors and hope her passion continues to serve her well in her chosen field.

Olivia: "Encountering Eric was a pleasant surprise. During our ride, we discovered our shared passion for media, making our conversation enjoyable. It's always nice to have conversations with like-minded people :)" 

“I’ve become that Old Guy!”

Me: Before ridesharing today, I did something I haven’t done in a long time - I played pick-up hockey.  I’ve played hockey since I was a kid but arthritis in my knees caused me to stop playing years ago.  I've really missed the game and finally decided it was time to see if my replaced knees could stand up to the rigors of the game.

      When Dion, Chrissy and their daughter, Gigi, got in my car, they noticed my hockey sticks in the back and we immediately started talking about hockey. Turns out, we both attended the previous night’s Capitals hockey game.  We talked about Ovechkin and how he’s getting old and slow and whether or not he would break Gretzky's all-time scoring record.

      When I told them that I played pick-up that morning, Chrissy asked me how did I do?  I told her I remember when I was younger, I didn’t like playing with old guys.  They were either offsides or they couldn't keep the puck on their stick after my perfect pass or if they made the pass to me, it was either too far behind or too far ahead.  I concluded by saying, "well, I’ve become that old guy!"  We all had a big laugh.  The funniest thing was the one who you would expect to find old age jokes the least funny, laughed the loudest! I accusingly asked Gigi, “hey, what are you laughing about!?"... to even more laughter!

      This ride was short but a lot of fun.  Turns out, Chrissy took photos for TouringPlans and one reason they came to DC was to visit The Smithsonian Museum of American History to see two photos that she provided for "Mirror, Mirror," an exhibition that "explores how Disney theme parks serve as locations of public memory, their relationship to stories of American history, and how the parks and the public are both adapting to new understandings of the American experience by complicating historical narratives." I visited it a few days later and really enjoyed seeing her photos.

Dion: “DC is by far one of our favorite cities in the world.  We lived in the area for almost a decade before our daughter, Gigi, was born.  So every experience we can share with her, we try to make it memorable. The day we met Eric had been especially fun for Gigi because it was her day to tell us what she wanted to do.  We went to the Natural History Museum as the big event of the day, then added in a little Old Ebbitt’s Grill to show her just how great food can be!  We saved a little room for desserts because we wanted to try out a new Chocolate shop.  We walked in the 20-degree weather a few blocks to enjoy the sites.  Unfortunately, the shop was closed due to the snow.  So we called on Eric to rescue us from the cold (I call it a rescue because I was tired of walking and ready to get out of the cold!)

Eric brought our day back to life.  We started out talking about the hockey sticks in the back seat - where we learned that he had gone to the same Washington Capitals game the prior night, and he had played hockey earlier that day!  I was impressed because…well, I suck at skating!  The conversation was pretty hilarious as Eric shared his story of being on the ice.  As he told this vivid story of trying to get back to his younger form with his brand new “old guy” legs, Gigi couldn’t help but chuckle.  It’s pretty easy to say that she was laughing at Eric’s story, but she kept looking at me as if to say “I can totally see you on the ice doing all of this, Dad!”  I was somewhat offended…but she would not have been wrong.  

I told Eric that I could relate to the part of his story where he thought that some of the younger hockey players were patronizing him a little — just to avoid hurting his “old guy” feelings!  I felt his pain!   I told him that every time I go to a coffee shop or any other retail store where I can just feel the younger whippersnappers getting ready to greet me, I proactively call them Sir/Mam!  Just to make them think I think they are old first!  

Imagine me at the skating rink picking up skates from a worker who looks like they are barely ready to stop using a booster seat.  Usually, I have a small freak out in my head that they are going to say something that makes me feel old.  The practical reality is me saying, “Hello Sir/Madam, do you have a magnifying glass so I can see what’s on this menu?”

So yeah..Eric made me connect with my oldness while on this drive (hahah, Im kidding).  The conversation made us all laugh out loud.  This was another DC moment that was memorable for Gigi because she got to see first-hand, that DC has such extraordinary people doing some of the most relatable and fascinating things!  And no matter who you are or what you look like, people like Eric make us feel like we are part of a family. We love that energy from folks in DC, and we especially look forward to catching up with Eric again someday.  Also…Gigi wants to go back when she can throw snowballs at me!”

“Anthropological Job Elements”

Me: When Eleni walked out of her building towards my car, I thought she looked interesting and I hoped for a captivating ride.  When I asked about her destination (the rideshare app only listed an odd combination of letters), she told me I was taking her to her job as a bartender and she spoke about her job with great pride in making “the best cocktails in town.” I mentioned that I went to bartending school a couple of years ago, thinking it might be a fun side-hustle but quickly realized the job was probably too physically demanding.  I figured I would make it to my first day but would probably have to call out sick on my second (and third?) day!

As the conversation evolved, I was interested to learn Eleni used to work for a well known public media company as a design researcher.  She was responsible for figuring out how users engaged with and navigated the company’s website as well as their other digital platforms. She enjoyed it but eventually felt stifled.  What a fascinating change of work and I admired her courage to make such a change.  Eleni said she thought both jobs had "anthropological elements" to them.  I was excited and said I completely understood because I felt the exact same way about talking to people while driving them around town.  We talked enthusiastically about my project, specifically how the element of people not thinking they will ever see one another again adds the necessary spice to make the conversation really interesting.  I wonder if Eleni will bartend for very long and if not, I wonder what she will do next.  Regardless, I wish her much success in her journeys.

Eleni: “When I got in the car with Eric I honestly wasn’t in a chatty mood. I was feeling congested and on my way to a long shift at the bar where I work. Eric started talking to me, though, and I actually felt pretty instantly disarmed. I couldn’t see the bottom half of his face (because he was masked) but I noticed he had kind eyes and could quickly tell he was a good listener. He asked me where he was taking me, because I entered a strange acronym into the system. I told him it was the name of a bar where I work, located discretely above a dentist office. He asked me how I liked working at a bar, and I told him how much I loved the anthropological element of it, how it felt very similar in many ways to my former job as a design researcher. In the last minute of the ride we bonded over the way we both felt like anthropologists in our work, as bartender and as a rideshare driver. 

It’s cool how quickly you can find common ground and connection with strangers sometimes. It made me nostalgic for a time (I barely lived) before the pervasiveness of smart phones, when I imagine interactions like this were more common.”

“Smooth Roads”

Me: After picking Dr. Al Amin up at the Embassy of Bangladesh, I asked if he was an employee or just visiting to take care of business?  He told me he was visiting from Austin, Texas and was here, along with thousands of people from all over the world, for the Transportation Research Board Annual Meeting. During a break, he went to the embassy to conduct personal business. I asked about his conference and learned that he has a PhD in civil engineering and his dissertation was in pavement management, which I imagine is actually much more interesting than it sounds.  Non-transportation workers probably take roads for granted and we expect them to be in very good condition and complain mightily when they are not.  Yet, we don't think about all the people that work hard to keep our cars/trucks flowing.  Thanks Dr. Al Amin!

I told him about my perspective as a kid growing up in NYC in the 70s.  Specifically, I told him the FDR Drive was so full of potholes that I grew up thinking that was normal.  When I lived in Fairfax County and a road was re-paved, I wondered why they were wasting money on a perfectly fine road!  He replied they were probably complying with state and/or federal regulations.  A lot has changed since the 70s!  When the conversation shifted to Bangladesh, Dr. Al Amin told me a fascinating fact.  He said that Bangladesh was one of the most densely populated countries in the world - it's slightly smaller than Iowa yet has a little more than half the population of the United States, yikes!  But, he also said it was a very beautiful country, especially if one liked nature.  It’s hard to imagine such a crowded country could also have natural beauty but I hope to visit one day and see for myself.

Dr. Al Amin: "I was in Washington, DC, for a conference and took the opportunity to visit my embassy (Bangladesh). On the way back to my hotel, I was ridesharing with Eric, the nice gentleman. Eric told me he was in the Nepal embassy, and he planned to visit his friend's wedding. We had a chat about random things like Nepal, the Himalayas, and even pavements. I learned about his nice project, "20 something minutes" and surfed through his website. I loved his photography. I wish Eric good health and hope he will keep up the good work. It was a memorable journey through some beautiful areas in DC." 

“Bang-jing the Drum”

Me: When I saw the pick-up location for this ride was 7DrumCity, I was swept with two emotions.  The first was anxiety since two years ago, while taking a passenger to the train station, directly across the street, I witnessed someone shooting a fully automatic gun.  I was so close, I saw the fire coming out of the gun barrel. The second emotion was intrigue since I love drums and know 7DrumCity has studios.  I wondered if my passenger was a drummer and I imagined this could be an interesting ride.

   As I pulled up to the curb, it was raining very hard.  A petite Asian woman with a big smile got in my car and I immediately asked if she was a drummer.  She explained that she loved drums and was taking lessons.  I told her I used to take lessons but quit after a few years. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

When I asked if she had a drum set, she explained that she recently arrived in DC and hadn't had time to get a set yet.  As it turns out, Li is from Beijing.  She was educated in England and just started teaching ESOL and math at a public school in DC.  When I asked if she liked her job, she hesitated and explained she's still trying to figure that out.  I knew exactly how she felt and told her I used to teach high school math too but quit after three years when I realized I didn't have the patience nor the desire to continue in such a difficult job.  We continued to spend a few minutes talking about the woes of public education and the difficulties of being a public school teacher as well as the difficulties of moving to a new place.  I think she has a lot of great energy and courage. I wish Li much success in her teaching career, her drumming and her time living in DC!

Li: “It was a rainy day in DC. I had just finished my drum lesson and hopped into Eric's car for the ride home.

Our conversation started from there, and I was surprised to see how much we had in common. It turned out to be a memorable ride.”

“History Repeating Itself?”

Me: I was thankful when Bramman agreed to participate in my project because this was my first ride of 2024 and I was hoping to mark the occasion with an addition to my project.  It was also my first ride back after taking a few weeks off for the holidays.  During that time, I visited my oldest son in Spain and then a quick trip to NYC with my youngest son followed by a trip to Denver to spend time with my two daughters. I mentioned to Bramman an observation my mom told me when I was in New York City. She noticed that very few people decorated their windows with the usual Christmas lights that she saw every year. She thought it was because the wars in Ukraine and Israel were depressing people. Bramman thought the same thing and mentioned he took his Christmas tree out and it basically sat there, his children didn’t bother decorating it. Let’s hope 2024 is a better year for everyone.

   Politics is a common subject that comes up when I'm driving people around town. Interestingly though, I've never had a conversation with a Trump supporter.  It's not that I'm opposed, it's just that my political conversations are with people opposed to Trump.  As such, Bramman told me about a book he was reading by Rachel Maddow called "Prequel: An American Fight Against Fascism."  When Bramman said the thing he found most interesting about the book, I interrupted him and finished his sentence...that history is currently repeating itself. I also remarked that nationalism is not just a US phenomenon, as it seems to be taking root throughout the world. Bramman made the comment that he thought nationalism was just a socially acceptable term for fascism.  Hmmm, I think he's right.

Bramman emailed me saying he didn’t remember much about the ride other than that we talked about this project. As such, I had second thoughts about posting this but in the end I thought just because a person doesn’t remember the conversation doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaningful.

“Lover of the Arts”

Me: Normally, I try to write something about a ride before I read my passenger’s thoughts and I don’t send them my thoughts until after I receive theirs. That way, no one is influencing the other. In this particular case, Eileen beat me to writing my thoughts and I think she captured all the things I was storing in memory to write later. With that in mind, I don’t think there’s much more I can add. I really enjoyed talking to Eileen, I think because we both love art and the theater. By the way, Eileen is the Community Relations Director at 1st Stage. And the Afghan artist that I told her about is Jahan Rafi. Also, Eileen mentioned to me that her father’s sister was the photographer Eve Arnold. I must confess I never heard of her but learned she was the first woman Magnum photographer!

Eileen: “I liked Eric right away. He kindly offered to get the door for me. Unusual! Even though it’s often an old fashioned, unnecessary offer, it felt genuine and kind, not a forced politeness.

Our approximately 17 minute talk surprised me. When I told him I was going to the Women’s Museum, his interest was piqued. He spoke about a female Afghan immigrant artist he heard about and, liking her work, helped her with her web site. He mentioned helping several Afghan soldiers and talked about their years of service and war . And their multiple injuries.  He pointed out that they gave so much and received so little thanks or help from the countries they served.  

Then our talk turned to the messy world we live in, the idea that things shift from one side of the political spectrum to the other and to Eric’s question ‘didn’t I think that if women ran the world things would be better- unless that’s offensive to women because that’s saying women don’t have egocentric points of view - just like men!?’

Great to hear a man think that way. My response, sadly, was no. I think corruption, greed and the desire for power would show up in female leaders as well. And that the question is unfair to males as well. We need a set of rules, education and an understanding that we all must do our parts, and that our leaders need to be in service to their constituents, not working to fill their pockets or do harm to anyone.

We started to discuss education when we arrived at the museum. And we never got to talk about my favorite topic- how the arts, especially theatre, help us learn about others, see other points of view and marvel at the talents and beauty around us all the time! 

Thanks Eric for a fun and interesting 17 minutes.”

“Wisdom”

Me: Orri is in his late 20s but I was struck by some of the things he said; as the saying goes, he is wise beyond his years. He told me he had two young boys and he said family was everything. He felt like there was no point in being alive if you didn’t have children. I told him that I feel like the greatest accomplishment of my life is being a good father to my four kids. I never had a job I took as serious as being a father. Another thing Orri said still has me thinking about it. I was complaining to him about a long-time friend that doesn’t put as much work into our friendship as I do. I told him my friend likes to sit on the sofa and watch a lot of TV. Orri said that I needed to think about the possible trauma in his life that causes him to be that way. He said I needed to forgive him and he hinted at trauma in his life that I wanted to learn about but didn’t ask.

Orri: "Man riding with Eric was like riding with an old friend. To talk to him and exchange thoughts about family and how important it is, was very deep and thought provoking. I almost forgot it was a Uber ride and not a friend giving me a ride to my wife's mother's house. Great guy, great guy.”

“Inspiring Hiker”

Me: Mary was the 370th ride I gave but my first with a service dog.  I was rather surprised when she told me that some drivers refuse her and her dog, which actually is against the rules.  Mary uses a dog because she is blind.  Amazingly, though, she is an avid hiker.  She hiked 500 miles of the Appalachian Trail before a family medical emergency forced her off the path.  She told me about the magic of being on the trail long term, with strangers working to help one another.  She said it restored her faith in humanity and gave her energy. I told her I understood what she meant because this project does that for me.

I foolishly forgot to get Mary’s contact info but when she got out of the car, she asked me if I would be willing to give her a ride to the Shenandoah National Park. I replied I certainly would, so I have faith that I will hear from her soon and will be able to post her thoughts of the ride.

"Knee Replacement Spokesperson"

Me: When I picked Kelly up, she had some difficulty getting into the car.  She immediately apologized for her clumsiness and explained she had problems with her knee.  I told her there was no need for an apology as I understood, having both of my knees partially replaced.  She didn’t want to have replacement surgery because she knew a couple of people that had problems afterwards.  When I told her I knew of two people that died from clots after the surgery, she told me that I wouldn't make a good knee replacement spokesperson.  We had a good laugh over that and then proceeded to talk about other health issues related to the joys of aging.

Kelly: I remember sharing with you that, decades ago now, I drove cab in Hawaii where I spent most of my childhood. I agree when you said the best part of the job is having a brief bubble to get a glimpse of who someone is. Folks will open up about really unexpected things, cause they know the chances are they’ll never see you again.

I got to have a glimpse (quite literally the back of your head, your eyes in the rearview mirror) of a very insightful guy. You got a glimpse of me at my most stressed out. I’m not sure if that surprises you since we spent most of the ride laughing like kids.

I deal best with stress, anger, hard things, with humor. Example: it’s hard for me to find a compatible doctor because it’s difficult for me to talk about symptoms without making them funny. Doctors get huffy if they think you’re not taking them seriously – though I had a really nice one who felt guilty laughing “at my pain,” as he kept apologizing. He never believed I’d be more insulted if he didn’tlaugh, so I changed doctors to stop torturing him. I’m pretty sure my current doctor is grateful for the comic relief.

So anyway, in a week where I was jolting awake from anxiety, it was really lovely to just giggle with no judgement at side effects from vaccines, crippling knee seizures, surgery, anesthesia not working – you know, illness, pain, vulnerability - all the good stuff!

No consequence laughing with someone about our shared frailties is such a gift. Thank you. 

“Producer Below Zero”

Me: Years ago, I had major damage to my home's roof and I had to live in a hotel for four months.  Living in a hotel for that long sounds horrible, but it was actually quite fun.  During that time, my two boys and I started watching a TV show on Nat Geo called, “Life Below Zero.” It follows people that live off the land in Alaska - no grocery stores, no utility companies, just hard subsistence living.  We instantly fell in love with the show.  We lived vicariously through the diverse characters and marveled at their skill to survive. As I suspect many others do the same, I admired the life they chose for themselves, wishing I had the balls to do the same. 

When Ben got in my car and we started chatting, he told me he was from Louisiana but worked in Alaska. I was intrigued. When I asked him what he did in Alaska, thinking maybe he worked on an oil rig or was a fisherman, he told me he’s a producer/shooter for a TV show. He was rather surprised that I knew the show and how much I loved it!

Ben: Ben called me and explained he was busy but he would get back to me with his thoughts on the ride. As he said, “it’s up to you if you want to shoot the dice on how soon it will take me to get something back to you.” C’mon baby, roll. Ah, snake eyes!

“Long Live the King”

Me: I picked Jared up for a quick ride to the airport to get his Thanksgiving celebration with family started. Somehow we started talking about our mothers and the need for them to keep active. I told him I traveled with my 90 year old mom this past summer to Sweden to visit our family living in Gothenburg. Boy, did that change the arc of the conversation! Jared enthusiastically told me he loved the Swedish monarchy (and European royalty in general) and schooled me on the monarchy’s history, even the influence Napoleon Bonaparte played, which I was quite surprised to learn. It was fascinating and I was impressed with how much he knew and his passion!

Jared: “Thank you for the ride - our conversation really lifted my spirits, and brought me out of a funk. The book I mentioned to you was “Napoleon: A Life” by Andrew Roberts  https://a.co/d/5HCEBWE

“Young Love”

Me: When Cristy got in my car, she proudly proclaimed that she had just downloaded the ride share app and this ride was the second one that she had ordered on her own, the first being earlier in the day. I wished I were her first! I gave Cristy a ride to Union Station, where she was going to board an Amtrak train to Chicago. I told her my sister and I used to take Amtrak from New York to Chicago, when we were kids, to visit my aunt. I told her one particularly fond memory I had of playing poker with Navy recruits in the club car all night. I was a little kid but I felt like a man playing cards with them. That prompted Cristy’s fond memory of Navy recruits, when she “fell in love many times.” And Audrey, we had Thanksgiving dinner together 41 years ago today, when we were both recruits in Air Force Basic Training. If you’re still out there, I hope you’ve had a wonderful life, full of love, laughs and good friends!

Cristy: “In our twenty minute conversation from the African American Museum to Union Station Eric and I connected over long ago incidents of infatuation. My moment was over sixty years ago when my sixth grade class took a field trip to the graduation ceremony at Great Lakes Naval Base near Chicago. As I sat there in the bleachers, my 12-year-old heart would flutter at all those guys in uniform standing at attention on the field, and I would pick out one sailor--the handsomest, of course--and pretend I was his girlfriend sitting there with his parents. Eric hooted with laughter at hearing that because he had had a similar experience decades ago, and still remembers the name of the USO gal with whom he had had Thanksgiving dinner. Infatuated, fantasy love...tickles the heartstrings with no commitment required! Fun and special moment of connection, and you're a wonderful driver too, Eric. Thanks! And I hope you are enjoying a lovely Thanksgiving day today.”

“I Love Pancakes”

Me: Due to cultural reasons, my rider didn’t want her face shown nor her name used. She was in town to visit her sister. She told me she’s originally from the United Arab Emirates and I replied that I spent two short days there when I was in the Air Force. I mentioned I remember two things about my brief visit; first, how hot and humid it was at six in the morning when, before departing, I decided to take a quick swim in the Persian Gulf. Second, how delicious my breakfast omelette was. I thought it was because a high quality, special oil was used and then I said, “isn’t it ridiculous that I remember that omelette?” She replied that she understood me completely. She once had pancakes in Munich, Germany that she still thinks about.

“Senate Intern Photographer”

Me: When I picked Allison up near Capitol Hill, I assumed she was a Hill staffer. When I asked, she said with emphasis that she was doing her “dream job” as a photographer in an internship program for the US Senate. I was excited to hear that and we feverishly started talking about photography. Allison’s ambition and pursuit of her dreams really impressed me. I was very surprised when she told me that she’s only a college sophomore! And she’s already been published in The Washington Post! I think Allison has a very bright future and I look forward to seeing more of her work in major publications. Want to see her work? Check out her website here.

9/22/2024 Update: I’ve seen a few photos of Allison’s lately in The Washington Post. Big Congrats!

“It’s a Girl, Two of ‘Em!”

Me: When Gilberto and his wife Rosa got in my car, I saw we were going to the US Supreme Court. I asked him if they were going to argue a case before the court and he laughed heartily. He let me know they were visiting their daughter and she just gave birth to twins a couple hours before. While we were talking, his son-in-law sent photos of their daughter with her babies. It was the new grandparents’ first look and we were all very excited. I was so happy to share the moment with them. I told them that I was patiently waiting to be a grandfather and when we reached the court and said our goodbyes, Rosa very earnestly told me I needed to be patient and they would pray for my family. I was touched by their compassion and care.

Gilberto: “We hope you have a wonderful day and very soon you let us know that you are gonna be a grandfather. God bless you and your family!”

“Adrenaline Rest”

Me: Maria is the Press Officer for an international organization based in DC.  I picked her up around 7:30 pm and when the conversation turned from why she was working so late to what she actually did, I thought, "wow, what a life."  She's done a lot of difficult humanitarian work in dangerous places in South America and the Caribbean.  The one prominent thing I remember thinking while I was listening to her was it's amazing how cruel human beings can be to one another.  And I understood and felt compassion when she told me she needed a break from these jobs.

Maria: “I was very tired when I got into my ride, after a busy week and a particularly busy day, with under 5 hours of sleep the night before. I was also cold. I noticed how clean the car was when I opened the door, and that made me feel comfort. I sat down and asked Eric if he could pump up the heating. In a few seconds I was feeling cozy.

Eric asked me if I was just leaving work. I thought it was polite talking as I sometimes get on app's rides (when it isn't a driver who doesn't even say hello), but I was wrong. He wanted to know, and was paying attention, and asking follow-up questions. I love talking about my job, so the conversation sparkled very quickly.

Summarizing the last 20 years working at the organization, in different areas and with different responsibilities, in a 20 minute ride, with someone who shows real interest in your answers, gives you a bit of perspective. When I came home, I kept thinking about that arch, and I realized I am in such a good spot right now, it made me happy. Everything I had worked in was amazing in some way or another. But contexts change. As I told Eric at the end of the ride: I have had more interesting responsibilities before, but that period was stressful and emotionally difficult. Now I have responsibilities that are less interesting, but I have peace of mind, more time for myself (not that week in particular, but in general), and very little stress. That's great when you are 53. I no longer crave the adrenaline I craved in my 30s or even 40s. 

With that sense of satisfaction generated by the attention of a person I had never met before and would probably never seen again, I arrived home with a smile and the tiredness washed away.”

“The American Success Story”

Me: Augusto's story is one of the more inspiring ones I've heard in my car.  We were talking about cold weather and he casually remarked that he used to clean rental cars in Canada.  Since he was very nicely dressed, I said he obviously came a long way from those humble beginnings.  He explained that he was born in Cuba and attended law school and worked as a lawyer there.  He left Cuba on a scholarship to study in Italy for three months. But, rather than return to Cuba when his study ended, his family hired smugglers to sneak him into Canada, where he applied for political asylum.  From Canada, he made it to the US, where he attended law school for a second time. But this time, he was married with three small children.

Augusto was in DC on business and one of the things he was here for was to be admitted to the US Supreme Court Bar!  He told me that he was the American success story.  Yet, his immigrant story is typical in that he said his children do not appreciate the freedoms and advantages that we have here.  I guess as parents in America, each generation aspires for their children to have a life free from the obstacles that we and our ancestors endured.  We can only hope they grow and mature to eventually one day recognize the debt. 

Augusto: “The ride was perfect, smooth drive and nice chat, appreciated!”

“DC Native”

Me: Gina got into my car with a big, warm smile that made it immediately easy to talk with her.  I don’t know why but I was surprised when she told me she is a DC native, born and raised.  Interestingly, though, for a few years, she lived in the same New York City neighborhood where I grew up.  We talked about many things including movies (she was on her way to a film festival) and our theories behind the recent explosion of violent crime in DC being committed by teenagers.  I was delighted when Gina told me she's a clinical social worker because I figured that meant she would easily agree to participate in my “social” project.

Gina: “What I enjoyed most about our conversation was first of all that it flowed easily! I sometimes find it awkward when people — even drivers and passengers— sit in silence. Though I understand that’s more comfortable for many people. I enjoyed sharing our appreciation for taking “power naps!” Also talking about New York and DC, homes of the past and present. Finally, sharing an appreciation for independent films and your experience of that with your daughters, an experience I could relate to. 

My mother would always talk to strangers and as a teenager this would embarrass me terribly! Cab drivers, bus drivers, anyone. She was a shopkeeper, eventually turning her antiques business into a lucrative establishment that she ran on her own for 30 years. (My father died early so didn’t get to see the fruits of what they had begun together.) My mother’s shop was a meeting place for an entire neighborhood. In nice weather she’d sit outside. Year round people would come and sit by her desk and talk, and of course shop. I once asked her what she imagined she might have done if she’d gone to college and she said something in psychology most likely. She was adept at drawing people out to tell their stories.”

“Writing Workshop Winners”

Me: I picked Sandra and Susan up in front of a beautiful old red brick building in Northwest DC. They were outside in a group of six people and as I pulled up, I remember immediately thinking, “I hope they’re not all planning on getting in here.” I crabbily inquired how many were coming but luckily, only Sandra and Susan needed a ride to the airport. As we got going, I learned that they won a competition to attend a writer’s workshop. When I asked about their books, Sandra told me her book was about using art as a healing tool. I added that I thought volunteer work could be another useful tool and I mentioned my work as a hospice volunteer. I said American culture typically thinks of one as being morbid if death is discussed. Yet, we all will die and my interest in Buddhism taught me it was useful to ponder this fact from time to time. At the conclusion of our ride, while saying our goodbyes, Susan gave me a hearty “Namaste,” which I enjoyed and was surprised that she knew that greeting, which I learned from my Nepalese friends.

Sandra: “When you requested comments I ended up writing a very short story (330 words) about my ride with you. Since you want something brief perhaps you can use the ending of my story:

I use a cane and must find a wheelchair to continue my journey. There’s no one at the terminal to help. Without hesitation Eric Chang, followed closely by Sparrow, whisks me onto a rolling chair and positions me for further adventures. Eric is more than a driver, philosopher and entertainer. He’s an angel.

Sandra Hughes recently traveled to Washington D.C. to the Pen Arts Building, headquarters of the National League of American Pen Women, to work on the completion of her upcoming memoir, Shattered, the story of how she learned to use the power of the arts to heal her life and the lives of others. Author Susan Sparrow was there as well, completing her genre bending novel about New Orleans.”

“Fatherly Advice”

Me: I picked Jalynn up near Howard University, where she is a student in her sophomore year.  She needed a ride to the National Museum of African Art to work on an assignment.  The thing that struck me most about Jalynn is when she got in the car, she immediately asked me how I was doing.  It was very earnest.  We had a very pleasant conversation during our traffic jammed ride, including barely squeezing by a FedEx truck on a narrow street.  Sometimes, when I'm giving younger people a ride, I find myself giving "fatherly" advice.  I try to be encouraging and stress the importance of education.  Jalynn was especially interested and receptive.  I encouraged her to use her curiosity to figure out ways to pursue her dreams.

Jalynn: “It’s tough being a college student, but Mr. Chang’s kind words and wisdom inspired me to continue to explore my craft and introduced me to new ways in doing so! I really enjoyed this ride and my conversation with Mr. Chang.”